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Understanding Your Sexuality

Who gets to be sexual? Culturally, we separate our sexuality from every other social role. This is done through the creation of sexual archetypes. These archetypes are Virgin, Mother and whore for women and stud/playboy, husband/father and cuckold for men. These archetypes define how we can be and limit our access to sexuality. They also […]

The Importance of African-American Centered Therapy

African Americans and other communities of color have a troubled history with the medical and psychiatric fields. The Tuskegee syphilis experiment is an example of that troubled history.  Trust has been lost and it will take time and much work to reestablish that trust. For that reason, it is vital that black therapists and counselors […]

Relationship Conflict

All couples have conflict! It is a natural and often useful thing.  It helps each person realize who they are and what is important to them in life and in relationship. When done correctly it strengthens and deepens a relationship. When done incorrectly, the tremors created by repeated conflict weaken and eventually collapse the foundations […]

Friendship is Key in Long Term Relationships

Only in the last century has it been necessary for couples to be everything to each other. In the past couples lived in extended family settings. A young woman didn’t lose her mother when she married because she lived in the same household or in the same neighborhood.  Her mother, aunties and sisters all lived […]

Curiosity: A necessary Marital Tool for Successful Couples

As a therapist I often have couples come into my office for couples counseling, furious at each other and bristling with resentment. During the course of couple’s therapy they often discover that their fury was the result of a misunderstood meaning they gave to something their partner said or did. My favorite example of this […]